• Jasmine Blackwell

Before the Love Story

I'd love to tell the story of how I knew Keith was the one as a perfect love story but fairytales are for children. To set up the story about how I met him, I first have to tell the story of my trash ex. So it's gonna be a three part story, a story of betrayal on both ends that just radiates toxicity but that's where it all began. I'll start with my ex, let's just call him Snake, cause that's the first thing that comes to mind when I think of him. Let me just tell you about him briefly so you can understand all of the red flags I ignored. Everything about him SCREAMED I'm a fuckboy but I didn't listen so I can't say he's to blame for what went down between us. I had a car at the time a job I was living with my parents but I was 18. He didn't have a car, or a job, and was living with his mom (something he hadn’t told me upfront) he was in his early 20s. We got close we ended up being inseparable.

In the beginning it was all good, I mean as good as it could be. He showed me off, showered me with affection, overloaded me with feelings I thought were great. Until, the first incident. He asked some girl out, I felt betrayed but OBVIOUSLY the story doesn't end here so I accepted his apology and moved on with my life. I mean after all he liked me I liked him so why not. I don't know if you can feel my feelings of stupidity radiating from this page but trust me I wish I'd cut ties right then and there but I hadn't learned my lesson yet.The next time he flirted with a girl and I found out it had been months since the first girl I'd forgotten all about it. This time I just couldn't contain my resentment, I said earlier it was a story of betrayal on both sides just keep that in mind. I started texting my highschool crush let's call him Nick (he comes into play later on) and this amazing artist guy let's call him Tucker. When he would do something I didn't like I'd text Tucker messages littered with dirty emojis and he'd message me back every time with "I miss you's" I'd take that opportunity to leave my phone out unlocked messages still on the screen knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to look. When he'd tell me that Tucker made him uncomfortable I'd remind him of his betrayals and move on with my day.

You would think that would be enough to tear us apart but no, we only became more toxic to one another it was a terrible situation for both of our mental health. I see that now as I'm looking back on it. Under the surface when things got rough we treated each other like shit. I can only speak for myself when I say I developed the ability to brush him off without hesitation.

I helped him find a job at a bar, wrote his resume and cover letter, when he got the job I picked him up from work dropped him off at home went home and did it all over again the next day. That worked out fine for a while, until he went from a waiter to a bartender. By the time all of this was going on he'd been working for a while he was making decent money. Not too long after that I got a full time job. After a couple of months of me working this full-time job I was ready to move out of my parents' place. I had money, he had money, why not move in together. I see a few places that I like online and set up appointments to see them. Ready to put money down on whichever place we settled on this was supposed to be a fun day. Things changed for the worse when right as we were on our way to see our last place of the day I found out he'd told a girl that we weren't anything serious! Now I know you're like "girl how stupid could you be please tell me you dumped his ass right then and there." This is the part where I make the biggest mistake of my life. We go in and see a split level loft, this place is BEAUTIFUL, absolutely breathtaking, with exposed brick walls, beautiful hardwood floors and these gigantic windows. I was in love, we put the security deposit down so that when it was move in ready we could get right in there. At that moment they asked me if both of us were going to be on the lease I told them No, just me! I had already started setting myself up for the break-up. Distancing myself from him emotionally, physically, and mentally. I should have been upfront with him and myself this wasn't going to work but hey I decided to give him another chance.

It would be almost two months before we moved into our new place. What I didn’t know was that was just enough time for me to decide I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I met a guy a work and despite the fact that I didn’t know what the depth of our relationship would be I definitely knew from the first time I saw him that it’d be something fun!

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